Reading the books for critique

Joe’s Post #35 — Well, the novels are in. 3 completed, 2 partial. But it’s time to read them and then, on June 15th, begin a critique process we’ve never tried – looking at a whole book. Here’s how we will likely manage our days … at least how I will manage one of mine.

7:00 am. Will have to wake up. Stoopid alarm clock. Hit alarm clock. Go back to sleep.

7:10: Get up. Scrub eye boogers out of eyes. Shower. Shave. Stare at wrinkles in mirror. Realize I’m not getting any younger. Make note to self. Work harder on clones who I can use to keep me young forever, especially since the one in the basement is running out of parts.

7:30 – 8:00: Take Vegas the dog for a walk. May realize I forgot to bring poo bags. Will hide poo under McDonald’s bag. Will look innocent on the walk back. May whistle.

8:00 – 9:00: Head to meeting room, eat cinnamon buns, drink coffee, form first coherent sentence. It may sound something like this. “Ug. Coffee. Errr. Mmmmm.” Gird loins for critique session to come. This is not my day. Nod a lot if someone talks to me. Hope coffee kicks in soon.

9:00 – 10:30: 1st Critique. Better not be me giving it. “Book. Ug. Good. Coffee. Errr. Mmmm.”

10:30 – 11:00: Coffee. Break. Outside. Fresh air. Mind beginning to work. I begin to realize where I am. I am thankful I remembered to put on pants.

11:00  – 12:30: 2nd Critique. Not me? Again? Sip more coffee. Could be my 6th by now. Hands start to shake. I get an eye twitch. Sentences are coming fast and furious now, “Sothatwasagreatcritiquesoawesomereallysoawesome.”

12:30 – 2:30: Lunch. Slightly longer break for lunch, recreation for some, eating for others, all of us probably composing our thoughts, processing. Critiquee retreats to lick wounds, phone home, hire hit men. We may or may not do lunch together. We may or may not be on speaking terms. I will definitely also go for a walk. Uphill. With the dog and a bulging pocket full of poo bags.

2:30 – 4:00: 3rd Critique: My turn. With more coffee in me, I manage to give a 90 min critique in 30 minutes. No one understands me. Maybe it’s better that way.

4:00 – 4:30: Tea time! Run downstairs. Run to get tea. Run to find more cinnamon buns.

4:30 – 6:00: 4th and final critique. Coffee could be wearing off. Critiquee not in tears? Good. Critiquee in tears, order wine and chocolate STAT!

6:00 – 7:30: Supper time. Alone or with the group. NO CRITIQUING TALK!  No one better talk about the Canucks either. I think we may limit the conversation to movies, the oddest looking person in the bar or why my twitch seems to be getting worse.

7:30 – ?: Socialize time. I’ll need to take some time to talk to the beautiful Corinne here, and likely others will walk to talk to their husbands, secret boyfriends and psychics. Later, a good game could be a lot of fun. Trivial pursuit (my mind is filled with useless information) or Scrabble (if I can misspell words) or we could just walk around and see the sights. Anyway, you get the idea, positive bonding activities. If someone wants to crawl into their cave after a day of too much “togetherness” or pound out 50 new pages because they now have a marvelous new idea of where to start their book, great.

11ish: In bed. The next day. Me. I preorder the wine and chocolates.

4 thoughts on “Reading the books for critique

  1. Sounds like a real hoot Joe. Did I really sign up for this? By the way, thanks for the yummy lunch yesterday. I’m wearing it on my hips now.

    • It’ll be fun, Silk and, if not then there will be wine and chocolate and you’ll get to see me get into a bar fight with someone who thinks I’m winking at their girlfriend.

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