Joe on Joe one more time (and no, it’s not kinky)

conscience

Joe’s Post #47 — So, I thought I’d have a wee chat with myself. I do that sometimes. Apparently insane people do that, too, but whatever, I need to see where I’m at.

Conscience: Hey, there.

Me: Go away.

Conscience: Just wanted to know how it’s going? Getting lots of work done? Still on schedule to finish by Sept 5th and get that exciting new YA novel out there?

Me: Bite me.

Conscience: Oh dear. Come on, you can tell me, what’s up?

Me: I did a map.

Conscience: Oh glorious hallelujah.

Me: A pretty good one actually. A beautiful woman even looked at it and said, ‘I don’t understand how you can get lost in a parking lot and yet produce such an incredible map.’ Pretty cool, huh?

Conscience: You get lost in a parking lot.

Me: You’re missing the point.

Conscience: So this map, what, helps you write?

Me: Helps me world build. All history stems from geography, right, so I needed to make sure that I had my world properly envisioned. With mountains and rivers and pretty little trees for the forests and some place for my evil villain to hang out.

Conscience: Hooters?

Me: No. Hello, it’s a fantasy world.

Conscience: And Hooters is not? Hmmm. I think I’ll save that for another time. So, maps, good, I get it. And the writing?

Me: Maps are part of the process. Now, I have a richer history to draw upon. I even came up with a devastated part of the land where mighty magical was fought. The more detailed I drew the map, the more I knew about the world and the people in it.

Conscience: Let me repeat, ‘and the writing?’

Me: It’s coming along. I’m using the CHEWASS method, but it’s kinda embarrassing sometimes.

Conscience: Oh, how? Like getting-your-willy-stuck-in-your-zipper-just-before-a-public-speech embarrassing?

Me: Not quite, and who told you about that? Anyway, I had to rewrite a section where I completely forgot ‘want’, you know, a goal for my character. I mean, I completely forgot. What kind of writer does that?

Conscience: You, apparently.

Me: So, there was my main character, literally up a tree, and she’s just lost her brother and sister and does she even think about them? No. No she does not. Not until nearly 50 pages later. Now I ask you, how is that possible? HOW?

Conscience: You’re right, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Me: I know. But the good news is I’m spotting these things. The good news is that I’m cutting out the crap and making the story IMPOSSIBLE to put down, even adding… wait for it… emotion.

Conscience: Oh, be still my beating heart.

Me: So, I guess to answer your question, it’s a bit behind schedule, but I’d rather produce a quality product, one that will make an amazing series, than do less than my best. But don’t give up on me, that deadline is important to me.

exerciseConscience: Great! Awesome! So, ah, how’s the exercise going?

Me: Go fuck yourself.

This entry was posted in Attitude, Editing, Rewriting and tagged by Joe Cummings. Bookmark the permalink.

About Joe Cummings

Aquarius. Traveler. Gamer. Writer. A New Parent. 4 of these things are easy. One is not. But the journey is that much better for the new people in my life. A life I want to share with others, to help them, maybe, to make them feel less alone, sure, to connect with the greater world, absolutely.

8 thoughts on “Joe on Joe one more time (and no, it’s not kinky)

  1. Yeah, well, I forgot the want for the entire novel, but thanks to you and the others, got reminded of it, so you’re not alone. Tell your conscience to leave you alone, you’re in good company!

  2. These damn consciences are all of the same damn species. Mine goaded me into going to the gym this morning, and now my knees are killing me. I love the idea of the map. Maybe you’ll go totally Tolkien and next you’ll be inventing languages and creating towering family trees. No. Maybe don’t go there. We only have one life to live, after all.

  3. Don’t feel bad about abandoning your character—scene, backstory, etc. can be inherently rewarding.
    As for maps, that was always a gift you had. It was bloody amazing how you could make the most detailed, beautiful maps. In retrospect, I’m not sure how geologically accurate they were, but they were things of great beauty and imagination. I think that was part of the attraction of wargaming: there are not many other similar hobbies where you get to play with maps. Yes, there’s orienteering, but you have to go outside for that!!

  4. A beautiful woman even looked at it and said, ‘I don’t understand how you can get lost in a parking lot and yet produce such an incredible map.’ HAHAHAHA! Totally on the floor laughing at that one.

    But if it makes you feel better I spent all afternoon, not writing, but making up character sketches which included researching long lists of names based on various historical cultures that are reminiscent of the ideas for my novel’s characters and cultures. But now all my characters are named, which kinda just makes them just that much more real. (Almog. How AWESOME is that for a name, seriously!). And also it is SO much easier to write the actual story. Instead of plugging in reminder phrases like: “the bird man”; “the stolen son”; “the wife of the dude who ends up killing the baby that was rescued from the farm lady who turned away the kid who escaped the captain of the watch”, I can just say, “And then Almog sliced the baby in two”.

    In other words, you are not alone. Now go write.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s