Joe’s Post #50
<< No, no, that’s not it. I mean, it may be true, but that’s not what I want to confess.
This is something much darker. Much more embarrassing.
I have a hard time with sex scenes. Wait, that came out all wrong. What I meant is that they are difficult for me to write. I’m actually not bad at romantic scenes, or flirty scenes, but when it comes to inserting X body part into Y body part, I get all red-faced and gigglie and that scene dies an ugly, boring death.
I think it’s because a sex scene is the last bastion of a secret phobia I have. Shhhh. (It’s of being judged.) I honestly don’t care if you read a scene I wrote about someone dismembering someone else (which may say some scary things about me) or a scene about emotional loss that’s linked to some very personal real-life experiences. No. But I DO seem to worry if you read what I write about a penis or what I call a certain female part I can never really find a good name for.
My grade 1 teacher?
My grocery store bagger?
OMG, he wrote what?
What’s worse is that the line if pretty far out there now. In the old days, like 2009, erotica was erotica. Porn was porn. The romance might be the odd kiss and cuddle, often with a few somewhat explicit details and humor (Diana Gabaldon is great at this.) But holy heck, read 50 Shades (or in my case, I read Sylvia Day‘s book, Bared to You), and you’ll see that bar is now way, way out there. The things those women write about… wow.
Don’t get me wrong, not every book needs a blindfold, a banana, and a chandelier, but the fact that I can’t seem to write one bothers me. The fact that I won’t even put words in this blog that make me blush kinda says it all.
With this confession, however, I can’t say 10 hail maries and it’ll be ok. I can’t ask for forgiveness. What I need to do, what I will do, is do what I do when I’m afraid of something – I go do it … and do it … and do it, again, until I’m over it (with the exception of leaping off of tall buildings which, I imagine, is pretty much a one time event.)
Zip-lining, done. Dentist, done. Coffee date with super cute girl, done! So, sex scenes. You’re next.