Substitute for Silk’s Post #61 — Follow-up interview conducted in National Public Radio studios, KPLU Seattle-Tacoma.
Interviewer: Good morning on this partly-sunny Thanksgiving week Monday. Welcome once again to Book Talk: New Voices, a weekly exploration of emerging writers. And speaking of ‘sunny’, regular Book Talk listeners may remember my unusual interview last April with Sunny Laine, who is not an author at all, but a new protagonist in an upcoming mystery-suspense story by emerging writer Silk Questo. The story is set right here in Seattle, and today Sunny is back to update us on her, uh, development … Hello again Sunny.
Sunny: Hi. Thanks for having me, but … look, I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot here, but could I just make one comment?
Interviewer: Well, certainly. That’s why you’re here.
Sunny: Development? That’s what you said – my development. That’s a little impersonal sounding, you know? I mean, I’m not a new mall. I’m a human being. Okay, I know I’m fictional, but I do have feelings, right? Frankly, I’m just a little sensitive on this topic.
Interviewer: I see. Well, uh, you know I haven’t had the chance to interview many, uh, people like yourself – fictional characters, that is – so I’m curious about your unique perspective. Can you tell me a little more about this sensitivity?
Sunny: To be honest, I’ve had a difficult time finding myself and I’m even beginning to wonder whether my story is going anywhere. I’ve been doing a lot of sitting around, waiting for Silk, and it’s making me stir crazy. No one likes to be neglected, you know? It’s nerve-wracking.
Interviewer: Sounds like you’re frustrated.
Sunny: Frustrated, yes. And a little scared.
Sunny: Yeah! Wouldn’t you be? My life hangs in the balance here. I mean, will I die on the page before I even get a chance to live?
Interviewer: Well, you have the microphone here, Sunny. What would you like to say to Silk about your feelings?
Sunny: How about, “Get the lead out girlfriend!” I mean, I don’t want her to think I’m … difficult. It’s just that, as I said last time, it’s not easy being a protagonist in an unfinished book. Especially one that’s creeping along at the pace of a three-toed sloth. I keep telling her it only takes nine months to gestate a real, living baby – shouldn’t she be able to pop out one little book in a year?
Interviewer: And what is the ETA for this manuscript you’re starring in?
Sunny: (Laughs) Silk says end of the year.
Interviewer: And what do you say?
Sunny: I say, what year would that be?
Interviewer: My goodness. Well, let’s move on to other subjects. How have you changed since we last chatted?
Sunny: Well, that’s the good news. I got a big promotion to ‘first person’ status, so now I’m telling my own story in my own voice. I’m really excited about it.
Interviewer: Wonderful! So I’m guessing you have a bit more influence on the story now?
Sunny: You bet. The first thing I did was stop going to my law classes. I’m really not big on sitting on my backside in a lecture hall. Boring, boring, boring.
Interviewer: But how will you get your law degree, then? I thought that was so important to you! Weren’t you on a mission to get justice for – who was it? – someone in your family.
Sunny: My brother Wolf. But don’t worry about my academic career. I can do this. Believe me. But I’ll do it my way.
Interviewer: You sound very determined. I just hope you know what you’re doing.
Sunny: Me too.
Interviewer: Now, on another front, how are your relationships with your fellow characters going? Any love interests we can look forward to?
Sunny: There will be if I have anything to say about it. But the ‘person of interest’ I have in mind will be a real challenge. One of those hard-to-get types. Mystery man, right? Deep. With a bit of a dark side. Those bad boys always turn me on. But he’s really good-hearted inside. Or I hope so …
Interviewer: Sounds delicious. And dare I ask about the villain? I believe we established that this is a murder mystery when we last spoke, and I assume you’ve been reassured by Silk that you’re not the victim. Do you know who your evil opponent is?
Sunny: Sore, sore subject. The fact is I still don’t know if I’m a victim or not, and that’s very unnerving, to say the least. I mean, if I get killed, I can’t really be the protagonist, right? This living in doubt is enough to kill me all by itself. The problem is, in a murder mystery you really can’t assume anything. Otherwise, where’s the suspense?
Interviewer: Yes, I take your point. And the villain? Have you met him or her yet?
Sunny: No idea whatsoever. You don’t think Silk’s going to tell me ahead of time, do you? It would ruin the surprise. She doesn’t give a sh— … a hoot whether I can sleep at night or not. In fact, I think she spends most of her time thinking up ways to make me suffer. She won’t be happy until I’m totally paranoid.
Interviewer: That sounds … distinctly uncomfortable.
Sunny: Now you’re getting the picture. You think it’s easy to star in this type of story? It’s torture, from start to finish! That’s the point, see? Now maybe you understand why I’m trying so hard to kick Silk into gear so we can get this thing done. I’m sick of living in fear. I’d like to know, once and for all, whether I live or die.
Interviewer: I had no idea what a tough job you protagonists have in the mystery suspense genre. I must admire your grit. You’ve certainly given me a new appreciation of the drama that goes on behind the scenes.
Sunny: Yeah. Welcome to my hell.
Interviewer: Well, we’ll all be on the edges of our seats until your story is finally out, Sunny, and I wish you the very best of luck with all your challenges. Thanks for joining us this morning, but that’s all the time we have today. This is NPR’s Book Talk: New Voices, reminding you to read someone new this week!
Sunny: Can I say one last thing?
Interviewer: Yes, quickly please.
Sunny: Silk, if you’re going to kill me off, at least let me have a hot affair with you-know-who first, okay?