Is ‘not knowing’ holding you back?

Karalee’s Post #88 — was one of those days when the heavens seemed lined up and my mind in the right space to absorb new concepts and philosophical musings into my life. I’m sure most of you have had wonderful days like this too and can still remember them years later.

What happened was that I was talking to a friend that coached me to stretch my beliefs. I’ve been avoiding making some decisions (letting go of some things I believe I shouldn’t) and fear of having no concrete idea what the ramification of those decisions will really be has been holding me back. And, I would gather, this is true for many people.

For sure it’s is a control issue and a place of safety knowing where “I am at.” In reality though, even the smartest person on earth doesn’t know for sure what the future will be. BUT what I am certain of is that not making decisions is slowing my personal growth. Which, by the way, includes writing a damn good story with a hugely memorable protagonist that absolutely doesn’t fit the mold as Helga talked about in her last post!

So my friend and I talked around this issue and what popped up for me is, simply, let myself be at peace with not knowing. Simple, right? It’s not an easy mindset for me, although when I get there, somehow it is freeing. Try it yourself and see how it feels thinking this way.

In actual fact, it is quite exciting! Let go and try things and see what happens. The mystery of not knowing and going forth and seeing what is or can be, is I imagine, some of the reasons that explorers, scientists, and people doing extreme stuff, do what they do.

I’m not saying that I need to be extreme, but letting go does put me in a different mindset.

Who knows why, but the mood at dinner last night was light and talkative too, even my eighteen year old son who is in second year at university (taking commerce and computers) joined in. Now the stars and the universe must have been lined up in a particularly good arrangement! :).

He made the statement that “no one knows how humans think; how we make our thoughts.”

Now this is absolutely the reason all families should eat around the dinner table with no electronic device distractions. This is social interaction at its best! My son’s girlfriend was with us too and we had a great discussion about what is intelligence, what makes us human, etc, etc.

We had lots of ideas and discussions, and in the end had to be at peace with not really knowing the answer. In retrospect when I think about it, not knowing in the first place is what opened the door for this discussion.

So I say again, be at peace with not knowing!

Yesterday was a memorable day for me and I believe that being in an open state of mind made it possible. As writers, being in this state is our sweet spot, where creativity flourishes.

Don’t you agree?

Happy writing!


5 thoughts on “Is ‘not knowing’ holding you back?

    • Thanks for your comments Alison. I’m hedging my bets that if we could have all our ducks lined up, we would become bored and start rearranging them. Not knowing really can be our spice in life. And just look at all the wonderful new “spices” you and Don have experienced by embracing the unknown!! You two are very brave.

      • Teehee, I think people get bored and start rearranging ducks all the time – grass is greener etc. I agree it’s the not knowing that can be the most enriching.

  1. Wow, Karalee, you opened up a fascinating discussion! I am happy for you that you have found a panacea for life’s sticky wickets that works so well for you. I think all of us would benefit at least occasionally from this approach when the mind is trying to rationalize every curve that life throws us.

    • Thanks Helga. My safety net so-to-speak needs a good shaking out and be allowed to settle in new places. Experiencing this with a sense of mystery and anticipation is a lot more pleasant than with fear. The same things will happen but through a different POV, right?

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