Surrey Writer’s Conference Act 1

Joe’s Post #56

jloLots of interesting stuff in the news today. Hooters is getting sued over not hiring someone for their HAIR COLOR! J Lo has body issues. And a blond, blued eyed little girl is found with the Roma (gypsies) … wait, hold on, that’s a great story idea right there.

But I don’t have time to look into those epic, world-changing events. I have to get ready for the Surrey International Writer’s Conference. Technically, it starts tomorrow and I’m madly getting organized so I know who’s looking for what, what classes they are teaching, and which ones I want to attend. As well, I’m reading all the agent’s and editor’s blogs in hopes of understanding this very strange species of humankind.

Lots of work. Being so 20th century, I’ve printed out everything and with a bright yellow highlighter in my hand, I’m busy marking up all things vital to my success. Who the key-note speakers are, where the bathrooms are located, who’s in charge of the coffee. I’ve also worked really hard on my elevator pitch, my query and whatever the hell they call the in-between thing.

It’s all coming together but there’s still a ton to do. I want to arrive there so prepared they will actually give me an award for being so well prepared. All they’ll do is look at me and go, hey, holy hell, look at that guy, he is some prepared (here’s a cookie).

Now I won’t be going tomorrow, as it’s master classes and I need to spend the time finishing up my novel. In the good news department, I’m basically done with the rewrite, at least until I take a last look at those first 10 pages. There’s still a really good chance I’ll tinker with it even if someone requests a manuscript to be sent to them (very unlikely, it’s usually 10-30 pages, but still …)

So, expect a few posts from me as I embark on this new adventure. Here’s my pitch. It’s a quest story. Timid Canadian who talks way too quickly attempts to sell his epic novel to agents who have seen pretty much everything before. Will he have another legendary meltdown while describing his story? Will he forget to zip up after going to the bathroom? Will his innate shyness force him into a fetal position underneath one of the lunch tables?

Stay tuned.

And wish me luck.


More to come.